What it means to be taboo
by twistednymph
Summary: One couple has already been banished for acting in a taboo relationship, but Sasuke doesn't know that. However, when Itachi and Sasuke are caught, Mikoto is forced to take desperate measures. Will Sasuke ever find his inner peace after Mikoto tells him Itachi is gone? Or will he realize that his whole world is a lot closer to home than he thought. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Forbidden Fruit

**Hello! Welcome to my new story! I have decided that I will be doing only one story per pairing at a time, and since I really wanted to update something I finally wrote this first chapter. This specific first chapter doesn't include any ItaSasu I'm afraid but I will put lots into the next chapter**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto but I own this story**

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"Madara?" Mikoto asked gently as she opened the door to her home and was greeted by her husbands older brother, "Izuna too?"

"sorry to drop in on you, sis, but we have news" Izuna said gently as he brushed past his brother and his sister in law into Mikoto's big house. Madara followed once Mikoto stepped aside and granted him entry. He gave a slight smile to her behind his hair before walking deeper into the house.

"we were just about to eat, you may join us if you'd like? I'm sure there's plenty, I've been cooking a lot more since.." her words trailed off as she looked down and gently stroked her large stomach.

"SINCE I'M GETTING A BABY BROTHER!" a high pitched voice shouted from the next room. A young boy soon walked in with shoulder length raven hair and a cheesy smile.

"Itachi Uchiha!" Izuna said and picked the six year old up and swung him around, "how much I wish I could just steal you all to myself" he said and laughed,

"remind me why you can't just have children of your own instead of stealing mine?" a familiar voice said from the corridor behind Izuna.

"Fugaku! Brother!" Izuna said and turned around after placing Itachi on his hip and bending back and forwards making the young boy laugh, "surely you remember our vastly different palates?" he said gently and winked at his brother.

"Enough Izuna" Madara raised his voice, "we came baring news and we have already intruded this sweet family. At least behave yourself." Izuna laughed sheepishly and put Itachi down before nodding to his older brother,

"of course brother" he said before turning to Mikoto, "so what you been cooking sis?"

"Oh nothing special, we weren't expecting company" she said and gave a small giggle before leading all of them into the dining room. "I know it's not supposed to be prepared this way, however I made sukiyaki, I hope that's appropriate enough"

The two brothers nodded before taking their place at the table. Izuna sat next to Itachi while Madara sat next to Mikoto and Fugaku was at the head. Fugaku looked at everyone before nodding, symbolizing the beginning of their meal.

"Uncle Izuna! You'll never guess what I did at school today!" Itachi said. The young boy hardly ever saw his two uncles and since his mother was pregnant with another Uchiha he would see them hardly less. Itachi knew they both lived together, he remembered his mother explaining it to them. It was something about Madara not being good at dating people and nobody wanted to date Izuna. Itachi didn't understand how Izuna didn't have a family, Izuna loved Itachi. Either way it was passed Itachi's concern, what really mattered was telling Izuna what he did at school today.

"What did you do, Itachi?" Izuna asked with a curious expression. On the off days he and Madara did leave the house to visit his nephew Izuna loved spending all his time playing with Itachi, and hopefully if the news goes down well, playing with Sasuke too.

"I scored top of the team in my gym class!" He said with a gigantic grin on his face.

"Ah well done Itachi!" Izuna said and clapped over dramatically, "that's because you're an Uchiha!"

"So what were your news?" Mikoto interrupted and Izuna looked at her. He was enjoying talking to Itachi and didn't want this to get in the way of it.

"I'll tell you later, some grown up talk I'll wait until Itachi gets put to bed" he said and continued talking to Itachi.

 _Hm_ Mikoto thought, _that's weird... Normally Izuna wants to tell Itachi all of his "interesting" stories._ She passed it off with a sigh and continued eating.

After the meal Mikoto started to clear the plates and Fugaku excused himself to continue his research in his study. Fugaku had a very good job which was handed down to him from his grandfather, this gave him the ability to provide for his whole family, to allow Mikoto to be a stay at home mother, and to put Itachi and soon Sasuke into the best schools possible.

"Izuna?" Mikoto called from the kitchen,

"yes?"

"could you run a bath please? For Itachi? I hope it's not too much trouble I'm just caught a little off guard I wasn't expecting company"

"of course sister, in fact sit down. Madara can finish those dishes" Izuna said and walked off to the bathroom to start a bath for Itachi. When Mikoto first had Itachi, Fugaku was away on a research trip which meant she depended a lot on both him and Madara so Izuna already knew Itachi's routine. It saddened him that this could possibly be the last time seeing Itachi. He hoped it wasn't though. Madara nodded at what Izuna said and walked into the kitchen taking the wash cloth out of Mikoto's hand and ushering her out the room.

Once Mikoto sat down Itachi walked over to her with one of his toy cars and started to drive it around on her pregnant stomach. She giggled gently and ruffled Itachis hair. Oh how she hoped Sasuke would turn out like his brother, Itachi was a golden child and he hardly ever cried. He behaved well in front of guests and was outstanding at school. The Uchiha's truly had the best genes when it came to, well, everything.

Across the house, Fugaku and Mikoto's house was all on one floor but it had a lot of room which made it equal to one large two story house on one floor, Izuna was sat on the side of the bath watching it fill with water. He was dreading coming out to Mikoto and her family about a secret he had been keeping for a long time. He didn't know how she would react, and he didn't want her to react the worst. Maybe by helping out so much she would consider keeping him around for when Sasuke came along. Surely she could use the extra support, even from someone like him.

Back in the kitchen Madara was just as nervous. He knew what Izuna's secret was and he dreaded the outcome. He knew Mikoto very well, since when Izuna was playing with Itachi he was talking to Mikoto. Madara knew it wasn't going to go down well.

"Itachi~" Izuna sung as he walked back into the room, "come on let me take you off your mothers hands. She's about to pop out a baby Sasuke any moment she needs time to relax to herself" he said and picked the young boy up. Izuna carried Itachi through the house and into the bathroom. Izuna undressed Itachi and placed him in the warm water before sitting on the bathroom floor with him.

"Y'know Itachi, after I talk to your mother we probably won't see a lot of each other"

"how come uncle?" Itachi asked quietly while playing with one of his plastic weasels,

"I have a pretty big secret. A secret you will learn in the future, but I can't tell you right now" Izuna said and grabbed another plastic toy and splashed it in the water.

"Is it a bad secret?" Itachi asked curiously,

"well. Sort of. In the eyes of society it's pretty bad but it's okay"

"oh.. Well that's okay! I'll love you no matter what!" Itachi said and gave a large grin again.

"I know you will, kiddo, which is why if you ever find yourself suffering from the same secret, you'll know what it is if you go through it too, I will always support you okay?"

"promise?" Itachi asked holding out his pinky finger,

"I promise" Izuna said and wrapped his pinky finger around Itachis smaller one and shaking it.

Izuna chuckles at the younger Uchiha and grabs a shampoo bottle before gently washing Itachi's smooth hair. Izuna made sure to be gentle and not hurt Itachi, he wanted his possibly last day with the young boy to be memorable. "Close your eyes" he said as he poured water over the boys head, making sure to rinse all the shampoo off as it can become irritating if you miss some. Izuna thinks back to the numerous times he has failed at washing his own hair all through growing up and had to ask Madara to help him rinse it properly. "Take care of Sasuke when he comes on the scene okay, Itachi?" Izuna said as he washed the youngsters body with some strawberry body wash.

"I will" Itachi said as he rinsed his body himself, he was grown up enough to do that. He was sure his uncle Izuna would be proud.

Izuna smiled at him and lifted him out the bath, drying him off with a towel. Itachi seized this opportunity to run as fast as he could away from Izuna. In the living room Madara and Mikoto were sat having a cup of tea when a naked Itachi ran through and jumped onto the sofa, soon followed by an out of breath Izuna holding a towel. Mikoto giggled at her son, he was always happy after his bath but would tire himself out soon enough. Once Itachi finally felt safe enough he stood still on one of the sofa's which was when Izuna ran and grabbed him and swung him over his shoulder as Itachi laughed loudly.

Izuna walked out into the hall again and into Itachi's bedroom which already had the crib made up for Sasuke's birth. Mikoto was expected to go into labor in the next few weeks so there was only a few more preparations to be made before it's ready for Sasuke's arrival. Izuna dressed Itachi in his weasel pyjamas and tucked him into his small bed. "Goodnight Itachi, and remember, I'm always here if you need me" he said before walking out back into the living room.

"I'm going to go and say goodnight and then you can tell me your news" Mikoto said before standing up and walking out the room.

Izuna and Madara were left alone and Madara could sense how nervous Izuna was. The longer haired male grabbed his brothers hand and squeezed it, "it's going to be okay" he said gently while brushing a hair out of Izuna's face. Izuna nodded shyly and moved his hand away as Mikoto walked back into the room and sat next to them.

"So, what are your news?" Mikoto asked just as Fugaku walked back in and sat across from his wife. They were his brothers, he had to be there for the news they had brought. They'd stayed the whole night to tell them.

"Well you see.." Izuna trailed off, he was very nervous and it said so all over his face. He took a deep breath before saying, "I think I'm in love." Mikoto smiled at him, this was obviously important to Izuna and she wanted to be as supportive as possible,

"who with? I'm aware of your preference but who is he?"

"well..."

"go on, it's okay" Mikoto assured him

"me"

Everyone's gaze turned to Madara, who had spoken up after sensing Izuna's undeniable fear.

"Pardon?" Mikoto asked, presuming this was one of Madara's jokes to get his brother to confess who he had fallen in love with. This was not the case.

"Izuna is in love with me" Madara said again, grabbing Izuna's hand while the shorter raven started at the ground, not having the courage to move it.

"Izuna is in love with you?" Mikoto asked again, trying to believe she hadn't heard him properly. Fugaku understood everything they were saying and excused him from the situation and receded back into his study. Fugaku didn't have time for this, he had work.

"Yes, and he has been for a while, and me back at him. This is what we have been trying to tell you"

"Izuna? You are in a committed relationship with your brother?! Do you know how many laws that breaks?!" Mikoto almost shouted. Outside, Itachi put two and two together. He was too young to understand what was going on, he didn't get what was wrong.

"I am aware of that" Izuna squeaked, "but technically those laws apply to those under the ability to mate and you see"

"I don't want to see! Why on earth would I even want to understand how sick this is?!" Mikoto whispered in an angry voice, "I want both of you out of my house this instant, I do not need you spreading your incest in my household around my young impressionable son and my soon to be fucking newborn, get out now!" She cursed, standing up and pointing to the door, "get out!"

"Mikoto wait let me-"

"No Izuna! Get out! You have brought shame on our perfect family, both of you, get out right now and don't even think about talking to Itachi. To think you bring that disgraceful information into my house"

Madara stood up and placed his arm around Izuna, he walked to the front door and turned around and looked at Mikoto one last time. Izuna looked up too, but he was looking at Itachi who was now hiding behind his bedroom door watching.

"If only you'll listen" Izuna tried one more time before Mikoto pushed them both back against the front door

"get the fuck out!" She cursed, only this time louder than before.

"You don't understand! I know it's wrong for me to love my own brother, but if it was you in this situation I would understand completely and provide the complete support you need" he said one last time, only this wasn't meant for Mikoto, this was meant for Itachi who was watching. Itachi nodded, mouthed 'i love you' before gently closing his door and hiding in his bed.

"I won't fucking tell you again!" Mikoto shouted as she opened the door and pushed them out before slamming the door in their faces and shouting through the door, "you will never see any of my sons again!"

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 **I really hope you enjoyed the first chapter which is based on backstory which was important and needed to be known before I get into the actual story. Chances are I will have already started writing the second chapter which will be put into this shortly as this chapter only has Madara and Izuna.**

 **A big thank you to my beta for reading this and correcting me on any small mistakes I made, couldn't have done it without you.**

 **If you enjoyed it please favourite and follow the story, and leave a review if you'd like**

 **Thank you so much for reading.**


	2. Dangerous Lovers

**Warning: smutty smutty in this chapter**

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Sasuke Uchiha walks through the front door of his big one story house. His raven hair was stuck up at the back due to a tub of wax and a lot of hairspray, which results in him choking his older brother out of his sleep. The result of the excessive wax and hairspray is that wherever Sasuke's head turned, his ducks ass of a hairstyle followed obediently. His dark eyes darted across the hallway to the open room of his fathers study. _This must mean father is with mother right now_ he thought to himself as he dropped his study bag on the floor in the hallway and adventured deeper into his house, heading through a large arch which lead into their overly large lounge area.

"Mom I'm home" Sasuke shouted into the house as he sat down on the sofa and took out his phone to check if he had any messages, he didn't. This, of course, was due to his best friend not ever using his phone as he hardly had any credit since he spent all his money on instant ramen.

"Sasuke!" Mikoto said excitedly as she entered the lounge from another arch leading into the dining room and kitchen area. "How was your day at school?" She asked politely as she sat down beside him and stroked his shoulder. Mikoto had always been a good mother to Sasuke, they hardly ever fell out in the 16 years he's been on this earth. She was understanding and always seemed to show she cared, and if she didn't care she was very good at acting.

"It was okay, same old same old. I got some exam papers back today though" he added,

"oh?"

"straight A's as usual"

"Oh Sasuke that's wonderful! Fugaku did you hear that? Our boy is still at straight A's! You're so much like your brother, Sasuke" she said and gave him a slight hug before standing up. "You get to decide dinner tonight, Sasuke, what will it be?"

"Oh anything I'm not that fussed" he said and left the room, heading to his own.

Mikoto and Fugaku had managed to erase the presence of their "siblings" from their mind in the 16 years of bringing Sasuke up. She was grateful that Itachi had been a well behaved older sibling to Sasuke once he was born, he was always offering to hold Sasuke and feed him. Itachi also managed to convince the two that putting Sasuke in his room would be a great idea, it wasn't.

 _"It's a broken arm miss Uchiha, however it's unusual for infants to break their bones despite how fragile they are" the doctor said, "remind me how young Sasuke hurt it again?"_

 _"Well you see he was climbing on the furniture and he managed to slip, he must have landed funny or something" Mikoto said hiding the truth. What really happened was one night Itachi couldn't sleep, so he decided he was going to play with his baby brother. Itachi, only 7 at the time, decided it would be a good idea to try and lift Sasuke out of his crib. However, it didn't last long as Itachi lost his grip and managed to break Sasuke's arm trying to catch him. Since then Sasuke was removed from Itachi's room with the promise 'once Sasuke gets older he can stay in your room if you both want'._

The memory of Itachi and Sasuke's first hospital visit together was fond to her, despite the fact one of her sons had broken the others arm. Mikoto was always grateful of Itachi, especially grateful that he was asleep when she and Izuna and Madara had that argument. If Itachi didn't hear, he didn't know such things existed, and that meant he was hardly likely to engage in the disgusting act in the first place.

Sasuke walked into the shared bedroom he had with Itachi. The two had shared since Sasuke was about 4 and simply never felt the desire to leave, in fact, they felt the desire to stay. Itachi was lounging on his single bed in the corner of the room. Their room was big, so there was enough room for the both of them.

"Hey 'tachi" Sasuke said as he sat down on his bed, which was located on the other side of the room.

"Hello little brother, fun day at school?" Itachi said, not looking up from the book he was reading,

"guess you could say that" Sasuke said and looked at Itachi who had finally looked up from his book.

"What happened?" Itachi asked as he walked across the room and sat down next to Sasuke, looking at his younger brother with worry filled black eyes.

"You weren't there" Sasuke said and a cheesy grin appeared on his face, Itachi sighs and lets out a small chuckle as he plants a kiss on the young boys head. "Ew get away from me you old man" Sasuke said and playfully slaps his brothers arm.

"Old? I'm 22 Sasuke, I'm not that old"

"sure" Sasuke replied as he leaned over and gentle kissed his brothers warm lips. They were soft and kind of sweet, the action made Sasuke's stomach erupt into butterflies. "I've missed you yknow.." Sasuke whispered against the older mans lips.

"I know.." Itachi whispered back as he looks into Sasukes identical eyes.

The love they both shared was forbidden, and they knew that, but because it was forbidden it tasted so much sweeter. Itachi wasn't a dumb kid, he knew what this was and he'd known it since he was 6 and found out about his uncles. Knowing that someone else in the family fought against those rules gave Itachi the confidence to confess to Sasuke about a year ago.

 _"Itachi?" Sasuke asked gentle, "something wrong?" His brother had seemed off all day, there was obviously something bugging him._

 _"Nothing Sasuke" Itachi brushed him off and kept typing on his laptop._

 _"Don't lie to me I can see right through you" Sasuke said as he went and sat next to Itachi on his bed. The smell of strawberries filled his nose, this was different. Sasuke had used his shampoo when he showered earlier that day. The thought of Sasuke using his shampoo and not even trying to cover it up made Itachis stomach jump. Itachi had loved Sasuke since he first laid eyes on him when his mother and father brought him back from the hospital. However, over the years, that love changed, it grew, in the worst way possible. By the time Sasuke was 12 Itachi started to notice him more, especially when he was going through his changes. The age gap between them was the biggest problem to Itachi, while the thought of incest never really bothered him, the fact that when Sasuke was around 14 and a half Itachi had fallen in love with him completely, but Itachi was 20, surely at least that was too wrong. So Itachi waited. He waited for a time where either Sasuke was old enough or he finally lost feelings. However, by the time Sasuke had just turned 15 Itachi couldn't help it. He knew these stupid feelings for his brother weren't going to go away, so he did the only thing he knew what to do. He found Izuna._

 _Itachi had used every skill he had to locate his uncle who he hadn't seen in 15 years. Would he remember him? He did. Itachi eventually found a phone number attached to a website that was made by Izuna's old company, it was his number. Itachi dialed the number and arranged to meet up because he had important business to talk about. Out of fear of Mikoto, Izuna agreed for only 15 minutes but 15 minutes was all Itachi needed to explain the whole situation and be given some feedback on what to do. Oh how he wished he could spend all of his time with Izuna, he was the only one he knew who completely understood what he was going through._

 _"Itachi!" Sasuke tried again, pulling Itachi out of his daydream. Sasuke was incredibly close to his face which caused Itachi to almost blush._

 _"What Sasuke? Don't you have work to do?"_

 _"No I finished it, now tell me what's bothering you"_

 _Itachi sighed, "have you ever looked at something and never wanted it? But then the minute you realize you can't have it you instantly want it and can never get it out your head?"_

 _"well, forbidden fruit does always taste the sweetest" Sasuke gave a little laugh. That little laugh gave Itachi life, a reason to get out of bed in the morning._

 _"But what if this fruit is so forbidden that it molds before you get a chance to take it? Or someone else takes it before you because this rare beautiful fruit is only forbidden to you, and people like you" Itachi asked_

 _"I don't know Itachi" Sasuke smirked, he knew exactly what this was, you see Sasuke wasn't dumb either and had noticed the signs from the beginning, "would you let someone take your forbidden fruit? Your dear little brother?"_

 _"What?!" Itachi choked on some spit that went down his throat, "what are you talking about?"_

 _"I know exactly what you're talking about, you're completely in love with me and have been since forever! I'm not dense!"_

 _"No I'm not!" Itachi stuttered as Sasuke leaned in closer, his lips practically on his cheek. Oh how Itachi longed to taste those lips. He couldn't hide it any longer, not after his face turned a crimson red._

 _"Don't lie big brother.. After all, the forbidden fruit always tastes the sweetest.."_

Itachi pulled Sasuke onto his lap, closing the gap between them once again and licking at Sasuke's lower lip until his younger brother opened his mouth allowing Itachi access to the warm wet cavern that he so desired. Itachi's hands found his way into Sasuke's hair and held his head close to his. Sasuke gently started grinding against Itachi, he knew it was risky but he'd missed his brother all day and he couldn't stand to be apart from him another second.

"I-Itachi" Sasuke quietly moaned into his brothers mouth from the friction created between the two, Sasuke felt the blood go south and could feel the effect of where Itachi's blood was going too.

"Boys! Dinner is ready" Mikoto called from outside,

"coming mother!" Itachi said quickly after he instantly pulled away from Sasuke and almost threw his younger brother behind him encase their mother walked in. Sasuke looked over at his brother and pouted, yet another perfect moment ruined.

"We'll finish that later, but for now I suggest you sort out your problem" Itachi said and winked,

"would you like to help me?" Sasuke asked, Itachi considered the option for a moment before grabbing his brother by the hand and running out the door heading for the bathroom.

"We're gonna wash up quickly!" Itachi shouted as he closed the bathroom door, flicked the tap on and pinned his brother against the door. "What did I tell you about not trying me" Itachi said as he quickly pulled Sasuke's pants to the ground revealing Sasuke's very hard and very prominent dick.

"Make it quick mom is wai-ah-ting" Sasuke was interrupted as his dick vanished into Itachis hot mouth. Sasuke was already leaking precum but this action caused him to leak it more. Usually, during their little games, Itachi was too much of a lover of foreplay. It took him ages to start anything but Sasuke wasn't complaining. He would orgasm multiple times, and if Itachi didn't work his magic later he would be pissed. Sasuke's thoughts were cut off when Itachi quickly started to swirl his tongue around the top of his dick before moving back and forwards. Sasuke's eyes rolled to the back of his head, he had been thinking about Itachi all day and this only made his teenage sexual frustration worse. Both Sasuke and Itachi knew it wouldn't be long, but the risk made it better. Itachi started to deep throat Sasuke and Sasuke would happily admit that his older brother had a magic mouth. Itachi did one of his famous moves, he took Sasuke's dick out his mouth and licked up the side of it before forcing it back in his mouth so it hit the back of his throat. Sasuke felt himself edging closer to his release, and as much as he didn't want it to happen he knew he would be rewarded later. Sasuke grabbed a hold of his brothers head as he felt his orgasm quickly approaching and took control over Itachi's slow movements, Sasuke brought Itachi's mouth out to the tip of his dick before slamming his head back in deep throating Sasuke one was time before his orgasm hit. Sasuke's eyes rolled further into the back of his head as he shot red hot semen into the back of his older brothers throat. Sasuke panted and felt his legs turn to jelly as his brother pulled away from him and helped him redress himself.

"Fix yourself, little brother" Itachi said and winked as he walked out the bathroom. Sasuke took a few more minutes to regain control over his body before following his brother out excuse in head. Itachi had simply locked the door and wouldn't let him in because he had accidentally stepped on one of his books.

"Sorry mother, Itachi locked me in the bathroom" Sasuke said once he sat down at the table, Itachi suppressed a chuckle at his bothers lie but still nodded once his parents turned their attention to him.

"Itachi, you are 22 years old, stop acting like a child" their mother scolded as he nodded his head once again,

"of course mother, I apologize" he said and began eating.

About half way through their meal Sasuke moved his foot across the table and laid it gently against his brother leg, causing Itachi to jump slightly.

"Itachi? Are you okay?" Their father asked,

"oh uh yes" Itachi coughed, "I was eating too fast and choked a little"

Fugaku nodded and went back to talk to Mikoto about the sales in their private company, Itachi shot a glare at Sasuke across the table who returned a small little pout.

'You are going to get it' Itachi mouthed as Sasuke raised his eyebrows at his brother and stuck out his tongue. Sasuke had always been bratty around his brother, and Itachi loved it, it only made him want to take him even more.

After their meal Itachi excused himself and Sasuke followed, once the two were back safely in their bedroom Itachi grabbed Sasuke and slammed him against the wall. "Do you know what you do to me?!" Itachi demanded as he pressed his body against Sasuke, clearly trying to show his bulging erection through he soft fabric of his sweatpants.

"I do" Sasuke whispered in his brothers ear as he gently licked the side of his neck. Itachis hands found his way up to Sasukes hair as he yanked his head back up to where he was staring Itachi in the eye.

"Look at me little brother, look at me as I make you pay" he whispered as a smirk snuck across his face and pulled Sasuke away from the wall and shoved him onto his bed. "I will make this so excruciatingly slow you will beg to make me fuck you"

"as if you'd ever be able to make me beg, big brother" Sasuke whispered.

Itachi growled at his younger brother as he pulled his face up where their lips smashed against each other. Itachi forced his tongue inside the youngers mouth causing Sasuke to moan quietly. Itachi could feel Sasuke's erection growing, he smirked into the kiss and pulled away biting at Sasuke's lip before moving to give his neck attention. Itachi licked at Sasuke's neck, breathing in the scent of his younger brother which he adored. Itachi was wasting no time in attempting to make his younger brother beg to him, so the older Uchiha moved down towards Sasuke's crotch and removed his pants. Itachi smirked at Sasuke's erection which bounced free, and all Uchiha's were incredibly well endowed. Itachi breathed over his brothers dick, making sure Sasuke knew that he wasn't going to suppress to his needs so easily. Sasuke bucked his hips up into Itachi's mouth, catching a side of his lip which only caused his erection to grow.

"Come on Itachi... Big brother.." Sasuke whispered as Itachi started kissing his thighs gently, making sure to get as close to his crotch as possible.

"Don't you want to... Beg for it...?" Itachi asked as he ever so slightly licked Sasuke's dick.

"God damn it Itachi I want you to fuck me!" Sasuke growled a little bit too loud as his mother was walking past the door.

"Oh my goodness..." Mikoto whispered as she quietly ran off to find Fugaku.

 **XxX**

The next day while Sasuke was at school, Itachi was lounging around on the sofa flicking through some channels on TV and playing with an old game-boy from when he was younger. Mikoto walked in and sat beside Itachi.

"Hello mother" Itachi said, not looking up from the level he was trying to complete

"Itachi we need to talk" she said and took the game-boy off of him. Her oldest son looked up at her and raised an eyebrow,

"yes?"

"I know about your secret"

"what secret, mother?"

"you and your brother, I know everything. I heard you last night and I am so disappointed in you Itachi" All colour drained from Itachis face. "I want you out of this house right this instant, I know exactly who's fault this is and I will not have you corrupting Sasuke like this. I have already packed your bag and you will leave before Sasuke gets back. I don't care where you go and I don't want to know. You will never step a foot in this house again and you will never have any contact with Sasuke now get out of the house before I call the police" she shouted.

"but mother" Itachi tried,

"do not ever call me that again, you are no longer my son"

 **XxX**

When Sasuke got home his mother was crying while looking through old scrap book photos.

"Mother?" Sasuke asked as he sat down next to her and stroked her shoulder

"what Sasuke" she snapped,

"what's wrong? you're never like this?"

"It's Itachi"

"what about Itachi?"

"He's dead"

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 **dun dun dun...**


	3. Away

**Hey guys welcome to the third "not-too-late" update, go me!**

 **CW: self harm in the first half**

* * *

"He's dead" Mikoto said. Sasuke's face dropped, he didn't know how to react to the news he had just been told. He didn't believe what he'd heard,

"what?" Sasuke asked quickly. He felt his lower lip trembling but he couldn't cry.

"Your brother is dead" She said once more, refusing to look at her youngest son. Shock set in and Sasuke felt as if he couldn't move, his whole body tensed up and felt as if he was watching himself from behind. Sasuke tried to move his body, he wanted to get out and run, he wanted to run as fast as he could but his body wouldn't move. Sasuke felt the anxiety, the pain, the shock filling up inside him creating an overpowering sickly feeling in his gut. His lip shuck but no tears came to his eyes, he was stuck in place. "Sasuke?" Mikoto asked, the sound of his mothers broken and croaky voice pulled him out of his daze causing the young Uchiha to jump back almost hitting the wall.

"Sasuke it's okay" Mikoto tried to reassure him

"no, no get away from me" Sasuke shouted and turned around, he ran through the house quickly dodging tables and bumping into walls and doors until he slammed his bedroom door behind him and sunk to the floor below him. Not being able to cry, Sasuke let out the most pained scream into the empty room.

"Sasuke.." Mikoto asked gently from behind the door, "come on.. let's talk"

"No! Fuck off" Sasuke shouted and screamed again, jumping up and grabbing the nearest ornament and throwing it at the door smashing it into a million pieces. Mikoto sighed and walked away from the door as the tears finally filled Sasuke's eyes and he dropped once more among the broken pieces of pottery and let his heart break as the crying screams echoed through the house. Sasuke couldn't handle sitting in one place as the agonizing pain forced him to keep moving. The Uchiha jumped up and grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled at it, pulling some of it out, as he let out yet another scream. Sasuke grabbed a pillow off of his bed and flung it across the room knocking a picture from off of the wall and smashing the glass in it on the floor. He grabbed a collection of Itachi's books and threw them at the wall and ripped some of them up before launching them at the floor. Sasuke kicked Itachi's bookbag and flung the covers off of his bed.

"Fuck you Itachi" He screamed through his tears, "fuck you you said forever"

Sasuke let out another agonized scream before storming over to some broken glass and picking it up, his anger was mixing with the pain he was feeling causing him to become a temporary nuclear explosion of emotions as he held the glass firmly and ripped into his skin. Sasuke screamed in pain as the blood oozed from the open skin. The anger started to die down as he continued slicing into his once clean arm until he was left with nothing but an empty hole in his chest and blood dripping from each side of his arm. Sasuke felt the tears fall quicker as he spotted Itachi's jacket that he always wore hung neatly on the hanger in the room. Picking up the jacket Sasuke wrapped himself into it and lay on Itachi's now trashed bed and cried into his pillow.

In the other room Mikoto was stood pacing around the living room, "I don't know what I expected" she said to herself, "I didn't think he would react this badly... I know I shouldn't have lied but.. It's for the best, right?"

 **XxX**

Itachi looked up at the big house. "Am I at the right place?" he asked himself as he looked around the neighborhood. Itachi took a deep breath and knocked on the large door. Soon after, a tall man opened the door. He had long black hair which seemed to have not been styled in years and had a scar going across his face. The man took a lot at Itachi, he seemed to recognize him from somewhere.

"Itachi?" The man asked quietly, not sure if it was in fact Itachi or just some kid that needed something. Itachi nodded gently and the tall man's harsh expression rested and a smile formed upon his face, "Itachi" he said again, only this time confident. The man pulled Itachi into a warm embrace and stroked his back,

"is that you, uncle Madara?" Itachi asked and Madara nodded into his shoulder. Itachi hadn't seen his uncle Madara for 16 years so he didn't even think he would have been recognized. When Itachi got kicked out he didn't have anywhere to go, however he did remember a certain thing he was told when he was 6 years old and saw his uncle Madara and uncle Izuna for the last time.

 _I know it's wrong for me to love my own brother, but if it was you in this situation I would understand completely and provide the complete support you need._ Itachi's uncle Izuna had said that to him, but at the time he didn't know what he meant. _I'll always be here if you need me._ Due to those words that stuck in Itachi's head for the following 16 years he knew exactly what to do when he was promptly removed from his own house for the same reason as Madara and Izuna. Once Itachi realized he was truly on his own he grabbed his phone and dug through all of his contacts until he finally found Izuna and Madara's address.

"What are you doing here?" Madara said as he pulled away, also pulling Itachi out of his daydream.

"It's a long story.." Itachi said and continued to look at the floor,

"I see, come in" Madara said and placed an arm around Itachi and walked through the door into the large living area. "Izuna, we have a visitor" Madara called out into the house and soon enough a man who looked like an older Sasuke appeared.

"Oh my... is that?" Izuna asked as he spotted Itachi, he instantly made his way over and placed a hand on Itachi's cheek. "It is.. I'd remember that face anywhere, Itachi what on earth are you doing here?"

"Well you see.." Itachi started but tears filled his eyes as he ran the story through in his head, how could he be so stupid as to forget what Sasuke would do when he got home.

"Sit down, love" Izuna said as he directed Itachi towards the large sofa. "Go at your own pace it's okay, we're here" he said as him and Madara sat opposite him on some form of coffee table and held his hand.

Itachi took a deep breath and began, "everything started when Sasuke was 12 and I was 18" Itachi paused and looked up at his uncles to see their reaction, Izuna nodded at him to continue, "I started to get these... feelings... But I'm not a pedophile I promise I'm not interested in kids" he suddenly blurted out after realizing how screwed up this whole story sounded,

"it was just Sasuke" Madara added in and Itachi nodded and hung his head in shame, "that's okay, continue"

"so... I started to notice him at 12 but I just thought it was something else y'know so I ignored it.. But then when he was 14 it just didn't go away it just got stronger, I would get jealous of his girlfriends and his boyfriends and anyone he brought home I just wanted his attention and you must think i'm some form of freak or something"

"no of course not, just please tell us the story so we can provide support"

Itachi nodded, "so by the time Sasuke was 15 nothing changed and I couldn't handle it so I... Tracked down Izuna.."

"Wait" Madara interrupted, "you saw Itachi last year and didn't tell me?"

"I thought it was too risky, he wanted advice so I gave it to him. I've been up to date until this point, all I knew was he seemed to have this crush on Sasuke so I told him to do what he feels is right"

"does he know about?"

"no, I didn't feel like he needed to and there was only a set amount of time until it became dangerous" Izuna said and the looked back at Itachi, nodding at him to continue.

"well a few months later I accidentally confessed to Sasuke and turns out he felt the same way.. So we started this thing and basically last night our mom caught us and kicked me out. Sasuke doesn't know where I've gone and I'm terrified that you guys will judge me and it's so stupid because you're the uncles that got removed from the family because you did the same damn thing"

"wait you know?" Madara asked, shocked,

"well of course, I was alive when you told my mom and I was awake. That night is my only memory of you two of course I remember it" Itachi said and pressed his head into his hands. "I don't know what to do" He admitted.

"Well..." Izuna said, "since this how has kinda became the reject bin of Uchiha's we could make up a spare bedroom and you can stay here with us. I'm not sure what will happen about Sasuke but I think for now it's best to leave it. Knowing Mikoto she's thought up some crazy scheme to remove you from Sasuke's life so it would be best to let him adjust okay?" Izuna said and stroked Itachi's arm.

"Is this my fault?" Itachi asked, "have I ruined Sasuke's chance at a normal life?"

"Of course not, sometimes love just does crazy fucking things" Madara said.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this update, wooo Itachi's not dead! As if I'd kill him off this early into the story, we gotta have that Uchihacest goodness first;)**

 **If you are a fan of SasuNaru and haven't already checked out I'm not crazy then I suggest you go and do that now because we're rocking 21 chapters of that and we're all so close to the end so deal with the self promo until that is finished. And for any of you exo fans I will be starting an Exo fanfic over on AO3 after I finish I'm not crazy so i'll keep you updated on that!**

 **If you liked this chapter please give it a review because I love your feedback! I really hope this chapter lines up with the previous one because I did realize certain facts in the other chapters that wasn't in the notes for the plan so if you spot anything that contradicts something I said in the previous chapters please please please drop a review and mention it so I can change it!**

 **Thank you so much for reading!**


	4. Close to death

**woooo updates ! Also I finished I'm not crazy so go check that out !**

 **cw: self harm**

* * *

 **4 years later**

 _I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare  
I'm just a kid and-_

Sasuke shut off his alarm that was blaring the same emo shit since Itachi's death and unwillingly pulled himself up from his bed. Sasuke's body was heavy and he could hardly keep his eyes open. He reached up and rubbed the dry skin on his face. The horrible feeling you get when you wake up after crying yourself to sleep was the norm to Sasuke.

"School again huh?" Sasuke mumbled to himself as he looked at the calendar his mother had forced him to put up to 'keep track of the days'. Sasuke thought this was stupid, each day lasted longer than the last and each day got more tiring. He ran out of motivation to even eat most days. School wasn't that bad for Sasuke. He had Naruto, his best friend, and lessons to keep him preoccupied but he was always exhausted when he got home. The weekend was the worst in his opinion, 48 hours spent staring at the empty bed on the other side of his small room, 48 hours spent missing the person that used to lay there, 48 hours thinking up things he could do to take his mind off of it, 48 hours giving up and going to sleep. Sleep was what Sasuke did most. If he was bored he slept, if he was hungry he slept, if he was upset he slept, if he was angry he'd exhaust himself to passing out. At this rate Sasuke classed himself as already dead.

Sasuke went to remove the cover from over his body but soon realized that his current morning routine would have to change. Glancing down Sasuke noticed the covers sticking to his left arm, glued to the skin by dry blood. Soon enough the memory of the previous Sunday night filled his mind.

 _Sasuke sauntered into the living room to where his mother and father were sat on the sofa watching a documentary._

 _"Hey mom?" Sasuke asked, sitting on a empty chair opposite them, "I wanna ask you something?"_

 _"what's up Sasuke?" Mikoto said, turning her gaze to him and smiling gently. Ever since Itachi's "death" Sasuke had been sensitive and Mikoto had vowed to be patient with him, she figured it would take a while to cleanse him of his sins, in a way like a drug addict in recovering surgery._

 _"I know it's been four years, but I think I'm ready to go and see Itachi's grave, can we go together some time?"_

 _"Itachi's grave..?" Mikoto said, she was shocked and obviously caught off guard at Sasuke's sudden question. It was hard enough keeping up the act of Itachi being dead, even though he was already metaphorically dead to her, but she hadn't even considered the whole idea of a grave. They'd had a fake funeral, and by that her and Fugaku went out drinking because Sasuke was too stricken with grief to be allowed to come along. Mikoto snapped out of her thoughts as she realized Sasuke was awaiting an answer, "I'm sorry Sasuke I'm busy."_

 _"Busy?!" Sasuke raised his voice, not taking the answer lightly, "too busy to go and see your own son?! Itachi's dead, you can't just put off visiting his grave, that is if he even has a grave!" Sasuke shouted and stormed off, filled with rage. Sasuke slapped his bedroom door and pulled his shirt off, scars coated his body like the agonizing stripes of a tiger deprived of its only life support. Sasuke got to work, slashing up the bare parts of his skin, tears pouring out in pain and anger when he overlapped a fresh cut or scab, like naughts and crosses on his own skin, a game of battleship where if he cuts the right part its game over. Sasuke wasn't looking for the opposing battleship, but it's not like he cared if he found it._

"Well I guess I can tell my mom I got my first period" Sasuke said dryly to his covers, knowing fine well he'd have to clean this up or store it somewhere so his mother didn't find it. Sasuke looked around his room, it was filled with empty alcohol bottles and old items of clothing, it was a truly depressing scene. He looked down at himself once more, he was 20 years old, stricken with grief, resulting to cutting himself and failing his university course. At least he could drink, it was the only thing he enjoyed more than sleeping. He wasn't an alcoholic, not really, he hardly drank because he was asleep all the time, and when he did he only got rowdy and upset so he only drank by himself on the occasional Saturday night to get him through the 48 hours of hell. He made sure he would drink himself to blackout, that way he wouldn't remember anything and the time would go by quicker. The hangover was a blessing, a reason to sleep more, a reason to not eat and a reason to not do anything. He was possibly the only person in the world who enjoyed being hungover.

Sasuke finally pulled himself out of his bed and threw his bloody covers into the bottom of his wardrobe and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. His father was already at work and his mother didn't wake up until 8 so he had some time to himself before he was being hassled by the bane of his existence. To add to the list of problems in his life he was still pissed at his mother, pissed at how she acted and pissed at how she doesn't seem to care about anything other than him forgetting about Itachi.

Half an hour later Sasuke left his house and headed over to his best friends house who always drove him to school. Sasuke tried taking driving lessons but couldn't focus enough on them and gave up. Naruto was a lot more successful than Sasuke in terms of life and family. Naruto had an older brother and two loving parents who also loved Sasuke, meaning Sasuke could just walk into Naruto's house regardless of the time and most likely be greeted with open arms. Sasuke walked into Naruto's house and into the living room where Minato was sat watching the news and Kushina could be seen through the kitchen shutters making coffee.

"Morning Sasuke, Naruto hurry up!" Minato smiled and then shouted across the house to where his son was most likely still getting dressed.

"Morning Minato" Sasuke said, forcing a small smile for his friends parents.

"would you like a coffee?" Kushina asked as Naruto walked into the living room, shirt partially undone and his hair a mess as usual.

"Yes please" Sasuke said and turned to raise an eyebrow at Naruto who was always running late.

"I overslept okay!" Naruto shouted and walked into the kitchen to grab a flask and hug his mom goodbye. Kushina passed another flask of coffee through the hatch and waved to the two as Naruto grabbed his keys and walked out with Sasuke.

When the two arrived at the university Naruto checked what class he had first, "shit I have food tec right now I gotta run, meet you by the water fountain after?" Sasuke nodded and took Naruto's keys as the blond ran off. Whenever Naruto had a lesson first Sasuke would lock the car and hold the keys so the blond could run so he didn't miss the first five minutes of the class.

After an hour had passed Naruto met Sasuke next to their personal water cooler on the top floor of the building. They'd claimed it since nobody other than the psychology students ever walked to the top floor.

"Did you miss me?" Naruto asked as Sasuke bent over to rinse out the flask and cave a slight chuckle, as he did that his sleeve moved a little to reveal one of his fresh cuts. Naruto noticed almost instantly and grabbed Sasukes arm and pulled him around a corner so they were out of view of wandering students.

"What the hell Naruto?" Sasuke snapped as Naruto grabbed his sleeve and pulled it up showing every mark Sasuke had ever done on his arms and wrists. Sasuke looked away, he had done so well at keeping it a secret until now.

"Do I need to look at the other arm? What the hell are you thinking doing this? And why? I know Itachi's dead but it's been four years get a therapist for fucks sake you idiot you're going to kill yourself!" Naruto shouted in a hushed voice,

"like you'd ever understand" Sasuke muttered,

"then tell me, make me understand. You're my best friend how wouldn't I understand?!"

"because it's wrong and so fucked up"

"screw what's right and wrong, Kurama sold drugs for six years Sasuke and I still love him, so either tell me or stop slitting yourself, jesus"

"it's all kinds of fucked up okay?! Nobody can know"

"I can"

"No you can't"

"why the hell not?!"

"Because I love the wrong fucking person" Sasuke blurted out in anger before internally cursing at himself, "well... Loved"

"If you don't love them anymore then what's the problem?" Naruto said gently, stroking Sasuke's arm to show support.

"I do it's just.."

"come on, tell me and I can help"

Sasuke sighed, he didn't care anymore. He wasn't doing anything wrong anymore, Itachi was dead, and if Naruto spread it around school and his parents found out then he'd kill himself, simple. "Because they died, remember?"

"Who died... Oh" Naruto said, putting two and two together.

"See? It's wrong" Sasuke said and sat down on the floor, Naruto joined him.

"I mean maybe it's a bit taboo in the eyes of society but... You can't help who you love, do you know it's real love?"

"I did I guess.."

Naruto sighed, "well I don't hate you or think less of you. But this makes everything bigger, and you need help. Come with me today to visit Izuna, okay?"

"Who the hell is Izuna?"

"Schools therapist dummy, he got a job here last summer and I've been spending some free time with him to cope with stress. He's good, please? For me?" Naruto pleaded, Sasuke nodded and sighed,

"fine, but just this once" Naruto nodded and took his friends hand and rolled down his sleeve before heading down to the middle floor. They walked through a few departments before heading to a small collection of offices, Naruto knocked on one of them and walked in.

"Hey Izuna!" Naruto said and Izuna turned around to smile at Naruto but then noticed Sasuke. The resemblance was incredible to Itachi, Izuna was almost certain that this was Itachi's lover. Izuna didn't even know Sasuke went to this school, well to be honest Izuna didn't know anything about Sasuke, they'd never met. "This is Sasuke, he's my best friend and I think it would be good if he came to see you, it's not my place to say why but keep him here until I come get him, I have a class soon" Naruto said and walked out.

"Guidance against your own will?" Izuna asked, judging from how uncomfortable Sasuke was. "I remember my first counselor, that was against my will too. My brother sent me because I had somehow gotten myself an eaten disorder due to studying too much" he said, "please sit" he pointed at a small chair. Sasuke did as he was told. "I wouldn't be doing my job right if I didn't ask why Naruto had sent you here, do you mind telling me?" He asked and Sasuke didn't say a word but rolled up both his sleeves to show his arms. Izuna's eyes widened, even more so when Sasuke lifted his shirt.

"They're on my thighs too" he said. Izuna nodded,

"So why are you doing this to yourself? And don't worry, I'm bound to secrecy as you're a legal adult, and there's a degree to my secrecy if your life is in danger but we'll get to that."

"My brother is dead, has been for four years" Sasuke said.

 _Four years._ Izuna thought, _that was around the same time Itachi came to us, there's only one way of finding out if this truly is the right Sasuke or just a doppelganger._

"What was his name?" Izuna asked,

"Itachi, Itachi Uchiha" Sasuke said, the words brought tears to his eyes.

 _Oh shit, Mikoto has said Itachi is dead? Jesus, bringing them together is going to be a lot fucking harder now, fucking sister._

"I'm going to presume you two were close? If his death if affecting you even after four years?" Izuna said, he hated playing along with Mikoto's sick games but he had to to help Sasuke for now.

"Closer than you'd think" Sasuke mumbled,

"oh? Very close friends?" Izuna asked, he knew what the answer was but didn't need to blurt it out. After all this was the first time meeting Sasuke, and under the worst circumstances.

Sasuke chuckled at Izuna and he raised his eyebrow,

"Is there a possibility of" he paused, "potential lovers?"

Sasuke looked up at him, shock clearly written across his face.

"Thought so, seen it multiple times before and everyone has had the same reaction" he lied, "I'm too good at my job"

"So what now? Report me to the authorities?"

"and why would I do that? I'm meant to help you"

"help me be 'better'? Because loving my brother makes me sick?" Sasuke snapped,

"Did I say that? No, I'm helping you not hurt yourself over this." Izuna said and Sasuke's expression softened.

The two talked for an hour, Izuna dug deep into Sasuke's personality. They talked mostly about Sasuke and about Itachi, Izuna 'learned' a lot about Sasukes 'deceased' older brother. Eventually Naruto knocked on the window of the office and Izuna held up his finger for Naruto to wait.

"Take this card, it has my number on it. This is the degree of secrecy depending on your self harm and potential suicidalness, ring me the moment you get an urge and I will help. If you don't use this card and I see fresher scratches on your body tomorrow, or the day after or whenever, I will have to report you. Understand?" Sasuke nodded and took the card and left the office.

"Thanks" Sasuke said, and Naruto smiled,

"no problem!"

 **XxX**

It was 2am that night and Sasuke had been working on some homework for once. Once he realized the time he turned off his laptop and went over to his wardrobe to pull out a fresh cover, however he pulled out an old jacket belonging to Itachi instead. Sadness flooded over Sasuke unlike any time before, he didn't know what to do but cry and cry and cry. When crying wasn't working he went to his faithful companion, his razor blade. In an instant Sasuke sunk into his own flesh but the sadness took over and he accidentally cut too deep and realized all too quickly. He'd hit his battleship and it was sinking.

"Shit shit shit!" Sasuke cursed as the blood started to flow, quicker than any other previous time. He knew he couldnt call for help because he would get killed off his mother but then he remembered the card in his jeans pocket that Izuna had given him. Grabbing his phone Sasuke quickly dialed the number and held it to his ear while jumping around because of the panic and adrenaline pumping through his veins. Itachi picked up almost instantly,

"Izuna help I cut myself and I think i'm bleeding out" Sasuke almost cried into the phone, Izuna was up and out of bed in and instant looking for his clothes while talking Sasuke through instructions. Sasuke listened to each one: find some fabric, wrap it around the wound and apply a lot of pressure, get out your house, meet me at the national park, stay on the phone. Sasuke managed to complete each of the steps even while his brain was fuzzy and made it to the park that was between his house, and unknowingly Izuna's.

The minute Izuna spotted Sasuke he ran over and had Sasuke sit down. Izuna took over and cleaned the wound and stitched it back up and then wrapped it in a bandage.

"Thank you" Sasuke said through tears after he was done,

"don't worry about it, you called like I said and it saved your life, meaning I can keep this a secret" Izuna said, "but I know this isn't want you want to hear right now, but try and stop. We'll have frequent meetings where you can vent but please stop doing this, things will get better, I promise."

Izuna said this with confidence, as he knew that back home Itachi was sleeping soundly in his bed, very much alive, and very much planning to get Sasuke back.

* * *

 **Thanks so much for reading !**


	5. Update

Hi everyone! I'm no longer updating this story or any story on fan fiction anymore BUT I have moved most of my stories over to Archive of our own and you can follow this story and many more on there! My username is TwistedNymph exactly the same as on here. Thank you all for all the memories I've had on this website and I hope to have more over there! I love you all


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